Atlanta Vampire Alliance [AVA]

Arcane · Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2006 9:31 am Post subject: Bloodlust

I’m sorry if this is a bit abrupt a subject to broach as I’m new here.

I’m new to vampirism in this lifetime. I’m a psi/energy. When I feed, I either get high or feel bestial. At times my sire needs to hold me down, but I only get that crazy after feeding on him. He tells me that I need to get control of my beast, but I’m at a loss on how to do that.

Also, for some reason, I’ve been experiencing flashbacks to prior lives when I’ve been feeding on blood. The first time it was triggered when I was in the shower nibbling on my sire and got hot water in my mouth. I remembered a huge amount of blood from a woman’s throat and I can’t imagine she lived. The memory left me slightly shaken. However, since then the flashbacks are getting stronger and afterwards I feel tremendously empowered like I just deep fed off my sire. And my beast gets the better of me for a while afterwards.

Even now as I write this I am fighting it. You can probably read the aura off this post to get a sense of it. Simply put, I need to get total control over this problem.

Can anyone help? I really appreciate it!

-Arcane
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Ancients were created to serve Destiny.
But we are part Human, and thus we can choose.
Either go blindly down the Path, or with eyes-open, forge a new one.

Eclecta · Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2006 3:34 pm Post subject:

Ok.. I do realize you are new.. So, I'm gonna be gentle...

We don't use the term "Sire" because it is mostly associated with role playing stuff.

But anyway... It varies when you are fed upon. Some get tired, lethargic, or sleepy.. and yet others come away feeling euphoric, high, or somewhat crazed. The same goes for feeding upon someone else..I have no idea as to why it happens, just that it does. We all have our own opinions for everything, of course, but that is beside the point.

My personal opinion is that all of us have our own unique energy. It can affect some differently that others. My suggestion is that you should try to filter the energy that you are taking in. If you need to know how to do that, let me know and I will find something I can post for you, or I will type something up.

Controlling your 'beast' or your hunger or yourself is something only you can do for yourself. Sometimes, when we are newly awakened it takes some time to learn to keep ourselves in check. Patience is the key to it tho. Try to avoid getting frustrated. Meditation really does help. You center yourself, and focus...

Flashbacks are common to for some, I would guess... I had them too at times, but more so than not, they were dreams. The ones that were actually flashbacks had more intensity, like a deja vu kinda thing. Sleep seems to tone them down a bit. But not always. In any case, the part that gets me is the "huge amount of blood from a woman's throat." Generally speaking, a huge amount isn't needed, but then again what is huge to some isn't huge to others. And blood always seems to look like more if its on something spread out than if its contained.

Its always a little unnerving to have something that is supposed to horrify you intrigue you. We are after all taught (this isnt really the word that is best here, but I cant think of a better word right now) that drinking blood, is taboo or evil or whatever, therefore if we think of this, we might be disgusted with ourself, or a little crazed, or a combination of a few different emtions, until we have time to adjust and come to terms with how we feel about it etc.

I found thru personal experience that the more you try to push them away and out of your mind, the more they will haunt you. So, I would suggest, find a way to accept that those memories, flashbacks, dreams, whatever form they take, are just around the corner and might show up at any given time, and when you expect them to come, they will slow down.

Hopefully some one else will elaborate on anything I have not...

Be well.
_________________
"Love is the law, love under will."

gothik · Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 4:05 am Post subject:

Arcane,
I get the same thing from energy at times. Actually a very recent happening caused me to start thinking about how it is possible - after a 4 month lapse, I finally started menstruating again, and I suspect that despite the loss, I may be drawing its energy back into me somehow - yesterday it through me into a half drugged, half tranced state. It was a really nice feeling. Sometimes the sight triggers a lust significant enough to induce trance and/or recall memories and/or experience a highly pronounced and colored chakra within the set of the basic 7 (usually brow).

It hasn't happened recently but for a while there I was writing/drawing out memories from another world. That is one thing I could suggest - it might be worthwhile to channel out the memories in a sketchbook or journal to help make sense out of them.

Eclecta · Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 11:21 pm Post subject:

Yep a journal can really help. I began doing self hypnosis to recover memories myself. It's quite interesting the things I can remember when I don't try so hard. LOL.
_________________
"Love is the law, love under will."

gothik · Posted: Sat Nov 11, 2006 10:06 am Post subject:

hehe yeah. I know I need to start meditating again but I also know that its true when you don't strain yourself for information you're more likely to get more out of it.

What's more difficult for me is that I seem to suffer some kind of identity crisis. Like I said in a different thread, I've known since early youth that I was different and did not belong here, but the longer that I'm here the more socialization I have received - which I think has led me to often forget that I am so very different from those around me and makes it difficult to convey the very depths of my soul to those near me b/c they don't think and feel the same things - many of them are too shallow or superficial , or somehow managed to think themselves into a box which prevents them from thinking themselves out of it.

(a nice section of ramblings)

Eclecta · Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 1:08 am Post subject:

Yep, makes perfect sense. So many times I've just said something not really thinking about it.. like something that seems so normal to me, and no one got it. It's amazing how differently we all are.
_________________
"Love is the law, love under will."

Sandy · Joined: 15 Oct 2006 Posts: 644

nightchild · Joined: 14 Oct 2006 Posts: 1127 Location: Belgium

I have the same problem i like bite to.
but when i see blood it difficult to hide it so now i keep myslef busy with either meditation or other thing's which include energy, cause now the most of the times i feel sleepy & tired.
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who dares not speak his free thoughts is a slave.Euripides

Sandy · Joined: 15 Oct 2006 Posts: 644

Its not about the blood for me. I don't know what the heck it is. I'm not sang, and don't get excited by the sight of it.

I used to have to be around it all the time when I was a student nurse, and working as an EMT. Blood isn't a catalyst--it just doesn't do it for me.

Maybe something primal, hmm?

It has to do with comfort, closeness. Happens when Chris and I are snuggling, and sex.

Sometimes spontaneously--just have the urge to tear a hunk out of his arm, neck, and face (yep, his face--he's way too tolerant. I am very lucky to have him).

Sounds horrible I know. I bite too hard, its the only way the sensation is felt on my teeth. I leave horrible welts and marks on him. Great, now I feel abusive. LOL

I've always been this way. I think about those little kids in daycare--you know, "biters". Crap, I'm a biter.

Now I feel weird. UGH!
_________________
"I can calculate the motions of the heavenly bodies, but not the madness of people."
- Isaac Newton

Words to live by. . ."Love all, trust a few, do harm to none." -- William Shakespeare

nightchild · Joined: 14 Oct 2006 Posts: 1127 Location: Belgium

Maybe you should stop biting and do some draging your nails over his back. I knew a woman whom liked to do that.
Then one day i was when not knowing it would leave marks behind on my back i was with this very beautiful woman meaning outstandingly beautiful greek woman.So were sitting on the bed i take my shirt of she goes om god whom did this didn't really know how sharp the other womans nails were.But this is now 5 to 6 years ago now it's hard to find a woman whom like to bite or scratch but not the biting leading to ripping one apart and Sandy your not a weird Sandy.
Iv'e seen weird your not getting to it you just need to bite less hard. Wink

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who dares not speak his free thoughts is a slave.Euripides

Sandy · Joined: 15 Oct 2006 Posts: 644

LOL--when I think about it, I try to be gentler, but I'm not a scratcher. Never have been.

it just happens, that is what's weird.

What happened with you and the pretty lady? I'm nosy--you can tell me to mind my own beez-wax. I'll understand.
_________________
"I can calculate the motions of the heavenly bodies, but not the madness of people."
- Isaac Newton

Words to live by. . ."Love all, trust a few, do harm to none." -- William Shakespeare

nightchild · Joined: 14 Oct 2006 Posts: 1127 Location: Belgium

what happend like said it was long time and i havn't really heard from her in a long time but i met the lady whom liked to leave scratchmarks on your back not so long ago. but the greek girl i wonder what ever really happend with her.
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who dares not speak his free thoughts is a slave.Euripides