Atlanta Vampire Alliance [AVA]

[Eclecta]

My awakening was odd to me, as I'm sure yours was to all of you. But, when I awakened, which was almost 16 years ago, there wasn't a lot of information you could find, and that in itself prolonged the inevitable...

I tossed back and forth, not even having a name for what I was going thru. I didn't even associate it with vampirism until much later. What I did know was that I thought I was going crazy.

I grew up in a small town, where if you weren't Christian, you were automatically a "devil worshipper." That plagued my mind, especially since everything I was interested in was something darker. I just couldn't force myself to believe in a God that everyone else beleived in, when that God didn't seem to be there for me, and when I asked pastors questions, they sent me away.

What always facinated me was deja vu. I associate this, since it grew progressively stronger while I was awakening, to my past lives. I had always had some small bits of deja vu, all my life. But during my awakening it seemed to not just be a fleeting feeling that would stop after a second or two, but would stay with me for several minutes or an hour sometimes. These memories were so intense that when I asked my family about them, and told them that I was remembering things, they would tell me I read to many books. The books I had access to were an old set of encyclopedias, because I was to far away to be able to get to a library very often. I read those old encyclopedias all the time.

I suppose I was always, at least to a certain degree, able to manipulate energy around me. I always thought it odd no one else could understand what I was talking about or see things that I saw when I was doing so.

There was a time, when I used to think I was possessed by a demon, simply because the church I went to didn't believe in what I explained to them, and termed it as sorcery, and told me it was wrong. They told me that "normal" people didn't do things like this or that, etc, which caused me to feel shunned.

It took me until my 20's to be able to realize that it was energy that I was feeding on, and associate it as such, simply because as I said, I had no sources of information to go on. I didn't even know anyone who was even vaguely similar to me.

My advice to those who are awakening is this...

*Be glad you have sites like this one to turn to, and others whom you can share ideas with.
*Don't take for granted that you are going thru an awakening until you rule out every other possibility.
*Don't confide in new friendships what you are going through, and be very cautious whom you decide to confide in period.
*Be grateful if you find someone who can share with you their own experiences and don't take them for granted.
*If you think you are crazy, then probably others think that too, so don't do things that you know will cause unnecessary attention to be drawn to yourself, especially if you are under 18.
*Don't assume that just because someone else tells you they are like you, that they really are like you.
*If you want to make claims about what you are going thru, please make sure they are beleiveable, and don't exaggerate!
*Try to be as honest with yourself and others, because this is how you gain acceptance of who you are.

Please feel free to post your own advice to those who are awakening!!
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"Love is the law, love under will."

[DRIST]

I totally agree. Some sites on the net contain extremely useful information. And often there are those that sadly, provide poor information. Whatever way you choose to do research, do so with indescretion. Be cautious, but open. It is often very confusing and frustrating when you don't have anyone to talk to about it with. I awoke around 14 or 15. I did not pursue information until much later. I had a mentor for a time, but he moved away leaving me with more questions that had no answers. I joined Temple of the Vampire in 93. But after reading some of the material, I thought it best to move on and continue research on my own due to personal reasons and preference. Being Vampyre is more complicated that wanting to be. And in this world there are many who mkae thier claims. You can almost always tell, or for me I get the feeling. I would write more on this subject but it is 3 in the morning and I need to get some sleep. I can say that there is help and also good advice out there, from good people who have been through it. You just have to be determined and willing to stay on the path.

[Eclecta]

You are a ToV'er too? I didn't know that about you. Nifty tho... I checked them out a few years ago because I wanted to read their bible LOL.

As for being determinded and willing to stay on the path.. I've seen alot of ppl come and go. Most seem to come and stay for a couple months and then disappear. Sometimes they come back, most of the time they don't. It makes me wonder if they were confused, or in denial... but who knows.
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"Love is the law, love under will."

[Malhavoc's]

[Eclecta]

At least now, we do have internet readily available and a few books here and there to consult if need be. Much better now than in the early 90's...
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"Love is the law, love under will."