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Atlanta Vampire Alliance [AVA]  |  Therianthropy & Otherkin  |  General Otherkin Discussion (Moderators: Merticus, SoulSplat, Eclecta, Maloryn, Zero)  |  Otherkin & Belonging (Society Rejection/Blending-In) 0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic. « previous next »
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Author Topic: Otherkin & Belonging (Society Rejection/Blending-In)  (Read 10879 times)
SoulSplat
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« on: March 01, 2009, 12:24:31 pm »

Posted by Paindancer on January 30, 2009 at 11:04pm
Transferred from Suscitatio forums

Ok, between the bodies that dont quite feel right, the awareness of energy, the differences in base psychology, just to name a few, its a given that many kin dont feel they quite belong. We feel different, we ARE different, and we cant really tell people that so we keep it inside and cope.

I see a lot of souls act out by actively resisting the culture around them. Its a token act of defiance to enable and put to form a feeling of non belonging. I dont see a lot wrong with this. However, when that defiance becomes to the point where society rejects the acting party, is it counter productive? Effectively it enforces the feeling of rejection instead of is a outlet.

Thoughts?

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« Reply #1 on: March 01, 2009, 12:24:50 pm »

Reply by Arrwyn on January 31, 2009 at 12:03pm
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I'm a bit surprised no one else has answered to this. You are absolutely right. The psychology of rejection often takes a person to the extreme. I have a gay male friend who is a perfect example of this.

His parents reject him and as a result of his love/hate relationship with them he is a "flaming fagot" (his own words) on purpose. He dresses in the most outrageous Goth outfits he can, in "drag" most of the time, then gets indignant when strangers stare at him. He sets himself up for the rejection like he lives on it. I've tried again and again to tell him if he wants people to accept him for who he is, he has to stop bating them, but he doesn't listen.

Within the "Otherkin" community there is still prejudice and rejection. I don't know how many discussions I've gotten into with people who put down gamers. People who feel they don't exactly belong in human society as they find it, find a legitimate release in role playing games. Just because someone is a gamer doesn't mean they are a poser. I belonged to a gaming association which had upwards of a hundred members. Of that entire membership, truthfully, only about six percent were people I would label as "mundanes" all the rest were Otherkin of one form or another! The group of 12 with whom I played most often had two dragons, three werewolves, a werebear, four vampires, a weredeer and a mage. All of us acknowledged our connection to the animals except the weredeer who was in denial of all our spiritual/astral identities but then, he was the only 'prey" animal in the group! Our "mage" was a Christian but was aware of his ability to manipulate energy and he called it Angelic energy. I don't care what label you put on it, it is all the same thing. He wasn't the only "real" magic user in the group, it is just that he had no other identification than an awareness of his own higher self which he saw as angelic.

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« Reply #2 on: March 01, 2009, 12:25:06 pm »

Reply by de libre on January 31, 2009 at 5:49pm
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Think of this Maslow's part on 'everyone wants to fit in' that being said. It could be said because of this almost anyone themselves would hurt others/ignore them in order to fit in with society themselves. Humans of any sort can be cruel as any other individual.

I remember my dearest mother finally finding about my empathy (tip of the iceberg alone) and saying she'd change for me. It worked out for about a week, than she went back to herself. "Society will not change for you, you must change for society."

I know that my energy is different and because of that, I tend to attract the weirdos Tongue No, but on the other hand it can also make people hate you faster because people in general hate the unknown/unpredictability. Best solution I've found for people that want to hate you without knowing you, is to change their preconcieved notions. That doesn't mean bashing them in the head, being snarky back...it means making them see that they are wrong. If you prove them right, you're only enhancing that effect. It's being able know what that person thinks, mapulation in a positive manner, and thus slowly working your way in (usually) aka foot-in-the-door phenomenon.

As for bashing other 'outcasts' sometimes humans do it not because they are scared of the unknown, but because lets face it people in general can be down right annoying, and sometimes you do just need to ground others around you simply as that. I would be lying if I said I've never labeled someone, we do this everyday in seeing who we will hang out with, what proffessor we want, even what job we want. It's like you're not going to hang out with a bunch of smokers (usually) if you hate the smell of it.

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« Reply #3 on: March 01, 2009, 12:25:23 pm »

Reply by Danielle on January 31, 2009 at 9:41pm
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If you feel that you don't belong and react in such a way as to center yourself out and draw attention to yourself it only makes that feeling worse and instead of fitting in you only stand out more. So it is indeed counter productive. Now if the person were to instead of conform to society and try to center themselves out but instead be themselves, I think that they would find that although they feel that they are alone, that there are others just like them. It just takes some time and a little bit of patience, but no body is alone in this world.

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« Reply #4 on: March 01, 2009, 12:25:43 pm »

Reply by Paindancer on January 31, 2009 at 11:55pm
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Well, from my own experience, I felt awfully alone a lot of the time.

Still, I chose to embrace the differences that made me, unique, and use those perks to not only blend in but be as successful as possible. Granted, I am far from typical mainstream America, but I also don the sheep's clothing. As people know and trust me, then I start to let them know more about me.

Currently I have a pretty good collection of friends who know whats going on when my body hurts, which is nice.

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« Reply #5 on: March 01, 2009, 12:25:58 pm »

Reply by Danielle on February 1, 2009 at 12:01am
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Well I'm glad that you finally have people who understand you and know you for who you truly are, I personaly grew up having nobody so I turned to nature as a source of something that seemed to convey to me a sense of who I truly am. I don't require other people to be happy but it's always nice having someone to talk to and to share your thoughts and feelings with, especially when they can empithise with you what you're going through.

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« Reply #6 on: March 01, 2009, 12:26:12 pm »

Reply by outward on February 1, 2009 at 2:29pm
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Interesting, INTERESTING topic here. : )

(BTW, Therianthrope here. Which is technically otherkin, but felines don't have the same sense of culture as say, an elf would.)

I feel exactly the same way. It's not that I've intentionally attempted to defy society or some such, I just find the majority of our cultural views to be both restricting and irrational. I never quite 'got' why humans act the way they do, and they feed off everything they're presented unquestionably throughout their lifetimes. I'm not eccentric because I purposely attempt to be unconventional, but convention feels inappropriate to me. To sound horribly cliche, I don't 'belong' within humanity's point of view, and I can't force myself into it, no matter what.

Anyhow, I'm torn on the topic between whether or not it's O.K. to defy social norms. Well, OF COURSE we should defy discriminating and restricting social norms (IE. Gender roles, homosexuality, racism, religion, etc etc), but I can see where 'acting out' could cause serious detriment towards society's acceptance of otherkin. I suppose that as long as no seditious or illegal acts are involved, then otherkin should be encouraged to act in whichever manner allows them to feel closer to themselves -- as long as others understand that a single, outspoken otherkin does not represent the whole of the community.

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« Reply #7 on: March 01, 2009, 12:26:29 pm »

Reply by de libre on February 2, 2009 at 12:34am
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I have as well been very lucky for this past year alone, to have 'expanded' my horizons. Not that long ago it was even rare if one person knows, now I have a handful and I think this is mainly due to where I am living and my schedule and doing what I want to do, naturally being occupied more at night I am going to find similiar people. Though in general, it seems that college allowed me to meet more open minded indviduals, and the ones I have told ironcially for all of them it hasn't really suprised one of them and they still see me as me...which is 'weird' Tongue

A few have said O, I should have foreseen it...and I did a pretty good job at hinting, slowly working it in as I got to know them better, which the foot-in-the-door-phenonemon in my expierence is the best way to go about it, people are less suprised. A lot of people still don't know, even though it feels like a lot ha-ha...I plan to keep it that way. It really is comforting though to feel like you don't have this secret that only you have to know about.

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« Reply #8 on: March 01, 2009, 12:26:45 pm »

Reply by Paindancer on February 3, 2009 at 10:28am
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Outward:

If the goal is raising awareness and acceptance tho, do those few outspoken 'off' members hinder that process? The one bad apple mentality, espicially when dealing with something new and unusual?

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« Reply #9 on: March 01, 2009, 12:27:01 pm »

Reply by Pier on February 11, 2009 at 3:55am
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am a Sanginarius I am proud to be in that group, the person I am & thanks to VCMB website has made me into a stronger person. Thank you Lady Slinky...


pier

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« Reply #10 on: March 01, 2009, 12:27:15 pm »

Reply by Rachel on February 11, 2009 at 4:06am
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I never fitted in when I was at school or now when I'm older, but frankly I gave up caring bout fitting in, a long time ago.

Who wants to fit in anyway? Why should you or everyone fit into a single checked box?

Life would be boring if everyone was the same. And who wants to be a sheep, sheep are boring... (besides I'm a wolf Therianthrope, a sheep is a pray animal definantly don't want to be one of those)

I have a small close group of friends and they take me for who I am and people that don't well I don't want to know them anyway.

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« Reply #11 on: March 01, 2009, 12:27:31 pm »

Reply by Paindancer on February 12, 2009 at 11:37pm
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Comes down to being effective. If you are running around, refusing to fit in, being a outcast, you make it bad on yourself, and those who also may publicly be kin. Conversely, if you can manage a outward presence which is able to be accepted and even successful, I find it carries more weight and acceptance when you state what you are.

Its not about being the same, its simply being able to adapt to the jungle you are in, to be more effective.

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« Reply #12 on: March 14, 2009, 02:18:33 am »

For my self i can relate to a lot of this and' seeing other peoples stories here has helped me a lot' and i have always been weird and so on' not that i always tried to be weird just happened,.

Mind you some things i did deliberately which i won't get in to but I like to think now i have learned from it and i am learning to be my self and not worry what others think but yet learn and grow and work smart and hard to make my life right,.

At least i think i am and Help others learn and get to know otherkin  and so on.
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« Reply #13 on: May 07, 2009, 04:03:02 pm »

As far as Otherkin are concerned, In my experience some things are better left unsaid... Undecided

What people don't know won't hurt them.
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« Reply #14 on: May 24, 2009, 12:10:14 am »

That is  so true I had to learn that the hard way and man ' did it take for ever but i finally getting that fact.
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