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Therianthropy & Otherkin => General Otherkin Discussion => Topic started by: SoulSplat on March 01, 2009, 12:24:31 pm



Title: Otherkin & Belonging (Society Rejection/Blending-In)
Post by: SoulSplat on March 01, 2009, 12:24:31 pm
Posted by Paindancer on January 30, 2009 at 11:04pm
Transferred from Suscitatio forums

Ok, between the bodies that dont quite feel right, the awareness of energy, the differences in base psychology, just to name a few, its a given that many kin dont feel they quite belong. We feel different, we ARE different, and we cant really tell people that so we keep it inside and cope.

I see a lot of souls act out by actively resisting the culture around them. Its a token act of defiance to enable and put to form a feeling of non belonging. I dont see a lot wrong with this. However, when that defiance becomes to the point where society rejects the acting party, is it counter productive? Effectively it enforces the feeling of rejection instead of is a outlet.

Thoughts?



Title: Re: Otherkin And Belonging (Society Rejection/ Blending-In)
Post by: SoulSplat on March 01, 2009, 12:24:50 pm
Reply by Arrwyn on January 31, 2009 at 12:03pm
Transferred from Suscitatio forums

I'm a bit surprised no one else has answered to this. You are absolutely right. The psychology of rejection often takes a person to the extreme. I have a gay male friend who is a perfect example of this.

His parents reject him and as a result of his love/hate relationship with them he is a "flaming fagot" (his own words) on purpose. He dresses in the most outrageous Goth outfits he can, in "drag" most of the time, then gets indignant when strangers stare at him. He sets himself up for the rejection like he lives on it. I've tried again and again to tell him if he wants people to accept him for who he is, he has to stop bating them, but he doesn't listen.

Within the "Otherkin" community there is still prejudice and rejection. I don't know how many discussions I've gotten into with people who put down gamers. People who feel they don't exactly belong in human society as they find it, find a legitimate release in role playing games. Just because someone is a gamer doesn't mean they are a poser. I belonged to a gaming association which had upwards of a hundred members. Of that entire membership, truthfully, only about six percent were people I would label as "mundanes" all the rest were Otherkin of one form or another! The group of 12 with whom I played most often had two dragons, three werewolves, a werebear, four vampires, a weredeer and a mage. All of us acknowledged our connection to the animals except the weredeer who was in denial of all our spiritual/astral identities but then, he was the only 'prey" animal in the group! Our "mage" was a Christian but was aware of his ability to manipulate energy and he called it Angelic energy. I don't care what label you put on it, it is all the same thing. He wasn't the only "real" magic user in the group, it is just that he had no other identification than an awareness of his own higher self which he saw as angelic.



Title: Re: Otherkin And Belonging (Society Rejection/ Blending-In)
Post by: SoulSplat on March 01, 2009, 12:25:06 pm
Reply by de libre on January 31, 2009 at 5:49pm
Transferred from Suscitatio forums

Think of this Maslow's part on 'everyone wants to fit in' that being said. It could be said because of this almost anyone themselves would hurt others/ignore them in order to fit in with society themselves. Humans of any sort can be cruel as any other individual.

I remember my dearest mother finally finding about my empathy (tip of the iceberg alone) and saying she'd change for me. It worked out for about a week, than she went back to herself. "Society will not change for you, you must change for society."

I know that my energy is different and because of that, I tend to attract the weirdos :P No, but on the other hand it can also make people hate you faster because people in general hate the unknown/unpredictability. Best solution I've found for people that want to hate you without knowing you, is to change their preconcieved notions. That doesn't mean bashing them in the head, being snarky back...it means making them see that they are wrong. If you prove them right, you're only enhancing that effect. It's being able know what that person thinks, mapulation in a positive manner, and thus slowly working your way in (usually) aka foot-in-the-door phenomenon.

As for bashing other 'outcasts' sometimes humans do it not because they are scared of the unknown, but because lets face it people in general can be down right annoying, and sometimes you do just need to ground others around you simply as that. I would be lying if I said I've never labeled someone, we do this everyday in seeing who we will hang out with, what proffessor we want, even what job we want. It's like you're not going to hang out with a bunch of smokers (usually) if you hate the smell of it.



Title: Re: Otherkin And Belonging (Society Rejection/ Blending-In)
Post by: SoulSplat on March 01, 2009, 12:25:23 pm
Reply by Danielle on January 31, 2009 at 9:41pm
Transferred from Suscitatio forums

If you feel that you don't belong and react in such a way as to center yourself out and draw attention to yourself it only makes that feeling worse and instead of fitting in you only stand out more. So it is indeed counter productive. Now if the person were to instead of conform to society and try to center themselves out but instead be themselves, I think that they would find that although they feel that they are alone, that there are others just like them. It just takes some time and a little bit of patience, but no body is alone in this world.



Title: Re: Otherkin And Belonging (Society Rejection/ Blending-In)
Post by: SoulSplat on March 01, 2009, 12:25:43 pm
Reply by Paindancer on January 31, 2009 at 11:55pm
Transferred from Suscitatio forums

Well, from my own experience, I felt awfully alone a lot of the time.

Still, I chose to embrace the differences that made me, unique, and use those perks to not only blend in but be as successful as possible. Granted, I am far from typical mainstream America, but I also don the sheep's clothing. As people know and trust me, then I start to let them know more about me.

Currently I have a pretty good collection of friends who know whats going on when my body hurts, which is nice.



Title: Re: Otherkin And Belonging (Society Rejection/ Blending-In)
Post by: SoulSplat on March 01, 2009, 12:25:58 pm
Reply by Danielle on February 1, 2009 at 12:01am
Transferred from Suscitatio forums

Well I'm glad that you finally have people who understand you and know you for who you truly are, I personaly grew up having nobody so I turned to nature as a source of something that seemed to convey to me a sense of who I truly am. I don't require other people to be happy but it's always nice having someone to talk to and to share your thoughts and feelings with, especially when they can empithise with you what you're going through.



Title: Re: Otherkin And Belonging (Society Rejection/ Blending-In)
Post by: SoulSplat on March 01, 2009, 12:26:12 pm
Reply by outward on February 1, 2009 at 2:29pm
Transferred from Suscitatio forums

Interesting, INTERESTING topic here. : )

(BTW, Therianthrope here. Which is technically otherkin, but felines don't have the same sense of culture as say, an elf would.)

I feel exactly the same way. It's not that I've intentionally attempted to defy society or some such, I just find the majority of our cultural views to be both restricting and irrational. I never quite 'got' why humans act the way they do, and they feed off everything they're presented unquestionably throughout their lifetimes. I'm not eccentric because I purposely attempt to be unconventional, but convention feels inappropriate to me. To sound horribly cliche, I don't 'belong' within humanity's point of view, and I can't force myself into it, no matter what.

Anyhow, I'm torn on the topic between whether or not it's O.K. to defy social norms. Well, OF COURSE we should defy discriminating and restricting social norms (IE. Gender roles, homosexuality, racism, religion, etc etc), but I can see where 'acting out' could cause serious detriment towards society's acceptance of otherkin. I suppose that as long as no seditious or illegal acts are involved, then otherkin should be encouraged to act in whichever manner allows them to feel closer to themselves -- as long as others understand that a single, outspoken otherkin does not represent the whole of the community.



Title: Re: Otherkin And Belonging (Society Rejection/ Blending-In)
Post by: SoulSplat on March 01, 2009, 12:26:29 pm
Reply by de libre on February 2, 2009 at 12:34am
Transferred from Suscitatio forums

I have as well been very lucky for this past year alone, to have 'expanded' my horizons. Not that long ago it was even rare if one person knows, now I have a handful and I think this is mainly due to where I am living and my schedule and doing what I want to do, naturally being occupied more at night I am going to find similiar people. Though in general, it seems that college allowed me to meet more open minded indviduals, and the ones I have told ironcially for all of them it hasn't really suprised one of them and they still see me as me...which is 'weird' :P

A few have said O, I should have foreseen it...and I did a pretty good job at hinting, slowly working it in as I got to know them better, which the foot-in-the-door-phenonemon in my expierence is the best way to go about it, people are less suprised. A lot of people still don't know, even though it feels like a lot ha-ha...I plan to keep it that way. It really is comforting though to feel like you don't have this secret that only you have to know about.



Title: Re: Otherkin And Belonging (Society Rejection/ Blending-In)
Post by: SoulSplat on March 01, 2009, 12:26:45 pm
Reply by Paindancer on February 3, 2009 at 10:28am
Transferred from Suscitatio forums

Outward:

If the goal is raising awareness and acceptance tho, do those few outspoken 'off' members hinder that process? The one bad apple mentality, espicially when dealing with something new and unusual?



Title: Re: Otherkin And Belonging (Society Rejection/ Blending-In)
Post by: SoulSplat on March 01, 2009, 12:27:01 pm
Reply by Pier on February 11, 2009 at 3:55am
Transferred from Suscitatio forums

am a Sanginarius I am proud to be in that group, the person I am & thanks to VCMB website has made me into a stronger person. Thank you Lady Slinky...


pier



Title: Re: Otherkin And Belonging (Society Rejection/ Blending-In)
Post by: SoulSplat on March 01, 2009, 12:27:15 pm
Reply by Rachel on February 11, 2009 at 4:06am
Transferred from Suscitatio forums

I never fitted in when I was at school or now when I'm older, but frankly I gave up caring bout fitting in, a long time ago.

Who wants to fit in anyway? Why should you or everyone fit into a single checked box?

Life would be boring if everyone was the same. And who wants to be a sheep, sheep are boring... (besides I'm a wolf Therianthrope, a sheep is a pray animal definantly don't want to be one of those)

I have a small close group of friends and they take me for who I am and people that don't well I don't want to know them anyway.



Title: Re: Otherkin And Belonging (Society Rejection/ Blending-In)
Post by: SoulSplat on March 01, 2009, 12:27:31 pm
Reply by Paindancer on February 12, 2009 at 11:37pm
Transferred from Suscitatio forums

Comes down to being effective. If you are running around, refusing to fit in, being a outcast, you make it bad on yourself, and those who also may publicly be kin. Conversely, if you can manage a outward presence which is able to be accepted and even successful, I find it carries more weight and acceptance when you state what you are.

Its not about being the same, its simply being able to adapt to the jungle you are in, to be more effective.



Title: Re: Otherkin & Belonging (Society Rejection/Blending-In)
Post by: wicthdragon on March 14, 2009, 02:18:33 am
For my self i can relate to a lot of this and' seeing other peoples stories here has helped me a lot' and i have always been weird and so on' not that i always tried to be weird just happened,.

Mind you some things i did deliberately which i won't get in to but I like to think now i have learned from it and i am learning to be my self and not worry what others think but yet learn and grow and work smart and hard to make my life right,.

At least i think i am and Help others learn and get to know otherkin  and so on.


Title: Re: Otherkin & Belonging (Society Rejection/Blending-In)
Post by: Removed on May 07, 2009, 04:03:02 pm
As far as Otherkin are concerned, In my experience some things are better left unsaid... :-\

What people don't know won't hurt them.


Title: Re: Otherkin & Belonging (Society Rejection/Blending-In)
Post by: wicthdragon on May 24, 2009, 12:10:14 am
That is  so true I had to learn that the hard way and man ' did it take for ever but i finally getting that fact.


Title: Re: Otherkin & Belonging (Society Rejection/Blending-In)
Post by: onelight on May 24, 2009, 04:30:46 pm
Last night I told my friend what I am and I found out that she is a witch. It was a good night.


Title: Re: Otherkin & Belonging (Society Rejection/Blending-In)
Post by: Removed on May 29, 2009, 07:05:19 pm
That is  so true I had to learn that the hard way and man ' did it take for ever but i finally getting that fact.

Isn't it more special that way though?

I've been trying to think of a new name IRL for a while now. I settled on picking an average 1st and last name, and my middle name would be the unique and strange sounding name. People have a habit of calling you names that stand out. People always called me by my last name, and it was so polish that no one could pronounce it correctly. So by using my middle name, only certain few people will know it and will address me by that out of respect of friendship.

I think it's very similar here.


Title: Re: Otherkin & Belonging (Society Rejection/Blending-In)
Post by: wicthdragon on June 24, 2009, 03:05:33 pm
I agree and it dose make it better.


Title: Re: Otherkin & Belonging (Society Rejection/Blending-In)
Post by: paindancer on October 26, 2009, 03:22:34 pm
(trippy finding a post by me but not.. OMG.. past life posting!)

I suppose, its easy to become obsessed with our differences, than our surroundings.  When we find common ground.. its an amazing time.


Title: Re: Otherkin & Belonging (Society Rejection/Blending-In)
Post by: belovedofdeath on October 27, 2009, 09:23:12 am
Last night I told my friend what I am and I found out that she is a witch. It was a good night.

similar: i told my close friend about my sang habits, so to speak, and i found out that she comes from a line of energy workers! :)


Title: Re: Otherkin & Belonging (Society Rejection/Blending-In)
Post by: RKCoon on July 21, 2010, 11:45:21 pm
Old topic but I thought Id chime in.

Being raccoon - an animal that has proven its ability to adept to humanity and survive rather well in suburbia - I find my kin side has very little effect on blending in, aside of the whole 'being different' bit. I do tend to stick out some, sure, but the raccoon side isnt noticeable from outside. I would go further and say that me being a raccoon makes my life easier than say a heavily predatorial animal, ie wolf etc, as Im not quick to get violent and harsh, as I have seen such kin get. Further, being that my kin is so readily adaptable and able to figure out what the hell humanity is doing, I can navigate and get along with it rather well. My vamp side easily can cause far more grief than my therian -- IF i let it. I dont advertise what i am, i dont feel a need to advertise what I am, I am quite happy blending in and laughing about it the entire time.


Title: Re: Otherkin & Belonging (Society Rejection/Blending-In)
Post by: Taris on July 25, 2010, 03:44:24 pm
Came across this topic and thought Id lend some thought myself.

I have felt the same sense of not being able to comprehend the society around us and why people do what they do. I have felt the feeling of not fitting in since I was young(Say maybe 10 or so). Its difficult to cope with as I still to this day feel there is some difference between me and the others around me. That I am some oddity that walks within some realm foriegn to me. I do attribute this to the fact that I classify myself Other-kin. I also attribute this to the way I think which is normally outside of what people focus on. Those who have this feeling early on make it difficult during the earlier years of life. Personally I have found that I can adapt and fit in whereas I am not seen as odd but never fully have the feeling that I am part of the group I have so readily adapted to. Its a bother to say the least but those who feel it live with it or decide to seek solitude. Those who seek to adapt and live with those who they dont fit, to become a part of the society in which they see themselves never fully a part of I wish the best.


Title: Re: Otherkin & Belonging (Society Rejection/Blending-In)
Post by: paindancer on July 29, 2010, 12:28:17 pm
for me, knowing its a game, or a role, helps.

I am here to be effectual.  Separating myself from the world around me does not help that.  Certainly, I may not think the same way that I do.  I certainly find my creative methods to cope and deal.  (not a whole lot of high level engineers who are fetish performers for example)


Title: Re: Otherkin & Belonging (Society Rejection/Blending-In)
Post by: masticina on July 30, 2010, 06:53:12 am
The wolf is not a fighter unless it needs to fight. Rough and though when needed but overall also great in families and a wolf soul will adopt a family it will try to protect. Honor and Respect reign high amongst the values the wolf spirit likes... something the traitorous humans have lost.

If in a group of people the wolf side leads me to keep an eye on all. To ensure they are all as safe as possible.. not always easy if a group breaks up of course.  I retain as much of my humanity as I can as this life I am a human. It is that simple.

My friends find me able, helpful and loyal. And those who abuse such get a warning to be out of my way because it is not only a wolf they have to deal with..


Title: Re: Otherkin & Belonging (Society Rejection/Blending-In)
Post by: fallen.from.zero on November 24, 2010, 08:49:36 pm
The wolf and I share a personality and I prefer to think of us as one being rather than separate entities for the most part.  The one person who knows would be my girlfriend, and she is extremely supportive of me, which is amazing.  I am extremely loyal to the people I trust and would protect them until the end of time.  The one thing most of my friends at college fail to understand is that, once you lose my trust and/or respect, it's hard to gain back.. not that any of them care enough.

The largest issue I have is that I have a set of values on rules that I live by, but with the people I'm surrounded by now, they're trying to break everything that I live by down, which I just can't do.  The wolf can either be a loner or stay in a pack, but when it's surrounded by people it can't trust, all it wants is to run or fight.  I try to hold onto my humanity as much as possible, but most of the time, I side with the wolf rather than what is typical for humanity.  Thus, it's always a struggle for me.

One last note:  I knew of the wolf within me since I can remember, but didn't fully realize/accept it until I was at least 12.  So since I can't really pinpoint an exact time when I awakened as a therian, I have lived my entire life thus far in a way that both gives as much freedom to the wolf as possible while still acting as "normal" as I can.


Title: Re: Otherkin & Belonging (Society Rejection/Blending-In)
Post by: Danielle on May 26, 2011, 06:50:25 pm
I think a lot of that has do to with youth, not just the feelings of not fitting in because of the difference in psychology and feelings etc, but everyone has the feel and want to be accepted. It's just about finding the people who can accept you for who are, not caring what other people think of you. If they can't accept you as you are why bother caring and trying to change to please them? What does acting out accomplish other than proving that you care what they think and so try to make a statement, "Look at me I'm different! Accept me!" Just be you, and people who are like you will find you, understand you, accept you and you avoid all the bullshit in between :)