Atlanta Vampire Alliance [AVA]

This is a transferred post from AVA forum 1.0.
 
Originally posted by:Arcane 

I’m sorry if this is a bit abrupt a subject to broach as I’m new here.

I’m new to vampirism in this lifetime. I’m a psi/energy. When I feed, I either get high or feel bestial. At times my sire needs to hold me down, but I only get that crazy after feeding on him. He tells me that I need to get control of my beast, but I’m at a loss on how to do that.

Also, for some reason, I’ve been experiencing flashbacks to prior lives when I’ve been feeding on blood. The first time it was triggered when I was in the shower nibbling on my sire and got hot water in my mouth. I remembered a huge amount of blood from a woman’s throat and I can’t imagine she lived. The memory left me slightly shaken. However, since then the flashbacks are getting stronger and afterwards I feel tremendously empowered like I just deep fed off my sire. And my beast gets the better of me for a while afterwards.

Even now as I write this I am fighting it. You can probably read the aura off this post to get a sense of it. Simply put, I need to get total control over this problem.

Can anyone help? I really appreciate it!

-Arcane

This is a transferred post from AVA forum 1.0.
 
Originally posted by:Eclecta

Ok.. I do realize you are new.. So, I'm gonna be gentle...

We don't use the term "Sire" because it is mostly associated with role playing stuff.

But anyway... It varies when you are fed upon. Some get tired, lethargic, or sleepy.. and yet others come away feeling euphoric, high, or somewhat crazed. The same goes for feeding upon someone else..I have no idea as to why it happens, just that it does. We all have our own opinions for everything, of course, but that is beside the point.

My personal opinion is that all of us have our own unique energy. It can affect some differently that others. My suggestion is that you should try to filter the energy that you are taking in. If you need to know how to do that, let me know and I will find something I can post for you, or I will type something up.

Controlling your 'beast' or your hunger or yourself is something only you can do for yourself. Sometimes, when we are newly awakened it takes some time to learn to keep ourselves in check. Patience is the key to it tho. Try to avoid getting frustrated. Meditation really does help. You center yourself, and focus...

Flashbacks are common to for some, I would guess... I had them too at times, but more so than not, they were dreams. The ones that were actually flashbacks had more intensity, like a deja vu kinda thing. Sleep seems to tone them down a bit. But not always. In any case, the part that gets me is the "huge amount of blood from a woman's throat." Generally speaking, a huge amount isn't needed, but then again what is huge to some isn't huge to others. And blood always seems to look like more if its on something spread out than if its contained.

Its always a little unnerving to have something that is supposed to horrify you intrigue you. We are after all taught (this isnt really the word that is best here, but I cant think of a better word right now) that drinking blood, is taboo or evil or whatever, therefore if we think of this, we might be disgusted with ourself, or a little crazed, or a combination of a few different emtions, until we have time to adjust and come to terms with how we feel about it etc.

I found thru personal experience that the more you try to push them away and out of your mind, the more they will haunt you. So, I would suggest, find a way to accept that those memories, flashbacks, dreams, whatever form they take, are just around the corner and might show up at any given time, and when you expect them to come, they will slow down.

Hopefully some one else will elaborate on anything I have not...

Be well.

This is a transferred post from AVA forum 1.0.
 
Originally posted by: Gothik

Arcane,
I get the same thing from energy at times. Actually a very recent happening caused me to start thinking about how it is possible - after a 4 month lapse, I finally started menstruating again, and I suspect that despite the loss, I may be drawing its energy back into me somehow - yesterday it through me into a half drugged, half tranced state. It was a really nice feeling. Sometimes the sight triggers a lust significant enough to induce trance and/or recall memories and/or experience a highly pronounced and colored chakra within the set of the basic 7 (usually brow).

It hasn't happened recently but for a while there I was writing/drawing out memories from another world. That is one thing I could suggest - it might

I have had the worst bloodlust of my entire time as a Vampire in the past few days, its almost maddening.   :(  Then my gf bit her lip and it was bleeding.  Soooooo tempting.  I had to hold myself back alooooooooot.   :-X

why did you hold yourself back? She not comfortable being a donor?

hell, whats wrong with kissing?

I thought about it, and then the wierd thing is that she asked me if I wanted her to be my donor.

and? do you think shes cute enough to eat? =p

Haha, definately, but we're going to wait.  I can wait.....Hopefully.  She still doesnt really understand all of what happens, but she's willing to give me her little cuts and scrapes which she gets often because shes kinda clumsy, hehe.

wow. I'm picturing you sucking on her knee after she falls down and scrapes it or something

is that really going to be enough

lol me too....could be worse...glad ya found someone m8....

I am always in a state of constant bloodlust and I've been bottling my hunger up inside myself for nearly my entire life, but I have a feeling things may change for the better b/c I am currently talking one of my best friends about getting her to donate. I am a Sang and she's new to all this, so we are kinda skeptical. ???

constant eh....i had a stint like that...spent two weeks trying to reign myself in....was bout ready to throw one of my classmates to the ground the whole time....still dont know what was up with it....but it was not fun...cept the dreams.....my desires kept going back and forth between sang and tantric....making for some very vivid and kinky dreams....

was so happy when i finally got a feed....made out with a rather delicious looking classmate over lunch, nothin serious, although it was obvious we could have gone much farther in the heat of the moment were we allowed more than just the hour, i guess my apatite scared her off after that first encounter....still a very memorable time and feed

tantric feeding is quite fun, yet i dont get many oppertunities, as i am more of the loner type.  though, i must admit, while there are several potentially delicious people in school, i am rather impartial to my girlfriend's energy.  >.>
we had that "are you only using me as a donor" conversation the other week...i handled it rather well, considering we're still together.

lol what did you say to get out of that one?

that if i needed a donor, i would find one out of the thousand or so at my high school, instead of having to drive 2 hours just to see her.

That's sweet.  ;) I'm glad that went well for you.

Well...I did find a donor at my high school...third day...soon to be my girlfriend, i hope.  (back off, bro...it's my territory)
gonna probably break up with teh first gf...2 hours is too far away >.<

Oh yeah I forgot my gender's not on here!...oopsies. :P I'm a straight girl, so there's no need to worry. I'm just glad not everyone is depressed right now and can lead a good life, bc I'm always struggling my depression. But no need to worry. I'll pull through eventually. Always do. I got my close friends behind me on this.

Well, if ya ever need anyone else, we're all here for ya

Yea i used to have some depression issues. Luckly for me i worked past those and got on with my life, so i totally understand were you are coming from.

ya, its easy to say that alot of us know something of depression....the reasons vary from person to person....but we all have our afflictions....and we all can stand by each other in times of need....thats what a community does....it looks after its own...

Aww. Thanks you guys. ;) It's very difficult to come across many people you can trust nowadays. Especially people who are quick to understand what others are going through. Thanks a lot.

Yea i have the trust issues too so.......

meh, if ya cant trust me completely its ok if ya hug me with one hand and keep your other on your dagger, just dont draw it =p

Hee, hee... ;D i like your logic!