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Atlanta Vampire Alliance [AVA]  |  Vampires & Vampirism  |  Awakening (Moderators: Merticus, SoulSplat, Eclecta, Maloryn, Zero)  |  Confused About Condition 0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic. « previous next »
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Author Topic: Confused About Condition  (Read 4920 times)
Gray
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Not at all what it seems to be...


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« on: May 27, 2009, 08:33:35 AM »

This is all very new to me but the search for my "condition" is not.  I want to make sure that I am not forcing a name onto a state of being for the sake of satisfying myself with an answer. This seems like just another physical condition, this inability to maintain a comfortable level of energy without external sources.

First of all, not only have I always been a misfit but it has always been noticable by others since childhood. Other kids just "knew" I was not like them. There are many examples of this which I will not extrapolate here. I have discovered, as have a few of my aquaintences, that I inadvertantly "feed" off them. When we part ways, I'm satiated and they're tired. I literally wear them out while I wind up bouncing off the walls.

I'm a VERY prolific song writer as a result. This has been going on for as long as I can remember. Oh, and the feeling doesn't last. I am begining to think I became a performer so i could feed from the audience. Pretty screwy, huh?

After finding my way to "this" path, the subject of blood feeding comes into play. I cannot recall anything but a strange attreaction to blood. Let's face it, it's warm, silky and has a strange glow. Thinking about it puts a "twinge" in the henge of my jaw...I'm getting off track here. The point is, now it's as if someone told me not to think about the number 7. STOP thinking about the number 7.

I have never fed on blood and I may never. But unless I feed off something I am miserable. I feel like crap most of the time (although there should be NOTHING wrong with me) because I spend most of my time alone. Of coarse, there is the hyper-sensitivity to sunlight. Not that I can't endure it because I must work during the day but it brings only pain to my eyes and skin and it is getting worse as I age.

On the subject of astral projection, it's been a long time but there is no mistaking it when it happens. I can also think of an old song (I mean something obscure)  then hear it on the radio the same day. This happens with words and people, too. But again, this does NOT mean that i am a vampire. I'm actually trying to rule it out. There are other things, as well but I have become long winded......help?
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A day without sunshine is like, well...NIGHT
SoulSplat
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« Reply #1 on: March 07, 2010, 02:39:58 PM »

In my opinion, you seem to be going through a type of "Awakening". Maybe this thread will help.

http://www.atlantavampirealliance.com/forum/index.php?topic=533.0

Maybe this one also:

http://www.atlantavampirealliance.com/forum/index.php?topic=1148.0
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