Curious About Becoming A Donor

[Kim]

Hi there, lately (for the past year or so) I've been curious about becoming a donor for someone. Mainly because when my boyfriend used to feed off of me it made me really tired, but also, afterwards I felt good because I was helping him with something he needed. So I'm curious about becoming a donor, I like to help people sometimes, so what better way to help then to donate? So ya...I'm pretty sure that I'm still curious about becoming a donor, mainly I want to know what I'm getting into before I just dive into it you know? So ya...if someone could maybe explain it all to me a bit or something that'd be cool.

[AcrophobicPixie]

First off, go get tested. If you go to the Red Cross or something similar, and donate blood, they'll test it, and offer you the results if you ask. Or, go to the doc, either your primary care, or your obgyn (assuming you're a female). STD testing is a must. If you've got something that can be passed on to someone, sorry, you're out of the running.

Secondly, read around. Before you step into the community fully, get used to it. See what other people talk about, what issues donors and vamps have had in the past/present, and prepare yourself, in case you're ever in that situation. Also, look into the lists of blood subs that nearly every vamp forum has. Keep a few in stock, just to get used to it.

Thirdly, read through the Vamp/Donor contract written by Belfazaar a good while back, read it again. Okay? Read it again. Now, write down what you are looking for in a vamp/donor relationship, what you're willing to do, what you refuse to do, etc. Don't lose it. And remember, donating doesn't automatically mean that either you or the other party wants to knock boots, or expects it.

Lastly, look around for a vamp in your area that you'd like to donate to. Follow standard safe meeting strangers off the internet rules, and join them for coffee or something to get to know each other. Bring your test results and your contract (w/ the notes). Be prepared to show them. Discuss what the two of you are willing to do, and if either of you have significant others, and if they are in the know, especially if you're of the opposite sex, or if the same sex, one or both of you is homosexual. Significant others thinking that someone is cheating when they aren't is shitty. Clear the air about that first.

The only thing left is to actually donate, and from there on, you're somewhat on your own. People are here to support you, but *shrugs*, we can't live your life for you.

[Thought]

THIS IS MY OPINION ONLY!

Chicken before the egg doesn't mix well with this sort of thing, in my opinion.  You donated to your boyfriend, as it was a natural progression.  I really don't think you should be 'seeking' out someone.  Mingle with the vampire community, make friends and educate yourself...but really, I wouldn't put yourself out there as 'someone looking to donate.'  If you strike up a good relationship (and by relationship I mean anything from friendship, to mentor-ship, to colleague, lover or otherwise) with someone and you both decide that you donating for them is a good idea, then go with the information that Pixie has given about testing yourself, reading up, educating yourself even more and making a serious decision.

This isn't picking out a hat.  It is a serious decision that could have lasting consequences.  Even if it's just energy donation.

Bottom line, I do not agree with someone seeking out to donate as that being the bottom line.  Seek out to learn things, to make friends and relationships and IF you are 'meant' to donate to someone then let it come naturally with good informed adult decision making.

[Taris]

Well said Acrophobic and Thoughts. I agree with you there to an extent Thoughts. I also highly agree with Acrophobic. Test Test Test Boundaries established and reinforced.

[Kim]

Gottcha. Thank you guys for giving me that information, I've been having people ask me to be their donor and now I know what to do. Thanks 

[Taris]

So long as it feels right to you and you take necessary precautions? Why not. So long as you dont let them overfeed manipulate or abuse its cool. I hope whatever your decision you think it through really well.

[Thought]

Just be careful and safe.  And as Taris put it so perfectly...Test Test Test Establish Boundaries and stick to them.

[Soulshroude]

I don't normally advertise this or agree with it, but if I were you I would take a perusing of the "Donor Bill of Rights".  It is very well written and laid out.

[Cheri]

Yes this is a bit of an older post..

Bottom line, I do not agree with someone seeking out to donate as that being the bottom line.  Seek out to learn things, to make friends and relationships and IF you are 'meant' to donate to someone then let it come naturally with good informed adult decision making.

I agree with you to an extent Thought. I also do not see any problem with someone putting it out there in their interaction with the community that they are willing to become a donor.

For me it is simply part of who I am. I personally enjoy donating and love that I can help someone that needs what I enjoy giving. I do not advertise to find a person to donate to, but just letting people know you are willing is not a bad thing.

[childofthespiral]

If it's okay for a vampire to advertise that they're looking for a donor, why wouldn't it be okay for a donor to advertise that they're seeking a vampire? Nature is all about balances. If there's a group who needs energy, then naturally there's a group with energy to give. My husband loves that I'm vampire. He pesters me when he has too much energy and can't sleep, and I'll 'skim' energy off the top until he says he can sleep, and then he gets a good nights sleep and wakes up for work completely refreshed. I usually won't get much sleep that night, but I can sleep during the day and he can't. As long as the prospective donor knows what they're doing and takes the steps outlined above, I don't see anything wrong with it. A donor seeking a vampire is no more dangerous for the donor than a vampire seeking a donor is for the vampire.

[WingedWolfPsion]

What childofthespiral said.

Not all vamps are seeking a romance, or even a friendship--some are just hungry.
Likewise, some donors are just seeking to be rid of some energy in a more pleasant fashion than trying to dump it into the ground, or seeking that singularly unusual sensation produced by sang feeding, without need for there to be any other baggage attached to it.

I personally think that a reasonable level of friendship is a very good idea, but I'd never tell someone they SHOULDN'T seek to donate with nothing else in mind...I mean, why on earth not?  It's going to be a mutually beneficial relationship, but how deep it is depends on the individuals involved, and their personal preferences.

What is always important is discussing that all up front, so both parties can determine if they're compatible.

[Aurora Belladonna]

Are you donating blood or energy?
      If blood, you need to get tested, even if you think your clean its better safe than sorry, both for your own health and for the health of the one your donating to. I personally believe as a donor myself that testing should happen regularly. STD's arent the only blood related health issue to watch out for either. Its a good idea to keep on top of it.
       If energy i would suggest practicing with energy work if you havnt already. Learn how to recycle your energy and clean it of any negativity so that the energy you are giving is clean and more beneficial to the Vamp your donating to.

The number one rule! Know your limits!! Learn to listen to your body. If you are sick do NOT donate. Your body will tell you when you have given too much energy. Listen to it. If you are a regular donor and are doing this steadily dont do it every day. Take a day or two for yourself so you can recuperate all your energy/blood.

Have snacks on hand to ground yourself after donating. Monitor yourself psychologically. Some donors get very attatched in an unhealthy way. If you are showing signs of this stop donating.

if your meeting the one your donating to for the first time use common sense. Meet in a public place and get to know each other. Develop a friendship or at lest develop a comfort level around each other.

[Plump Black Swan]

Thirdly, read through the Vamp/Donor contract written by Belfazaar a good while back, read it again. Okay? Read it again. Now, write down what you are looking for in a vamp/donor relationship, what you're willing to do, what you refuse to do, etc. Don't lose it. And remember, donating doesn't automatically mean that either you or the other party wants to knock boots, or expects it.

THERE'S A CONTRACT?! I didn't know there's a contract. That's great really great. I've read The Rules of "The Black Veil". I am going to read about the contract and find out who Belfazaar is.

Thank you

[Plump Black Swan]

Geetings unto one and all 

I know I must read the Bill of Rights a few times to have a well-rounded understanding. I wil make the time to do so. But I need to ask before I start, will this contract hold up in court? Is this Bill of Rights taken seriously by every court in the United States of America?

I ask this question not to mock or take lightly. It's just that I have never heard of such a thing, ever.

Do the Elders of the community become involved? Is there a punishment of some sort?

I'm sort of surprised in a weird way.

[Plump Black Swan]

That is the most detailed contract that I ever read! O.K., well maybe that is the only professional  contract I've read between two parties that was so detailed! I mean really, I have to go over the details again. I know it sounds weird but evertime I read it I feel my brain expanding.... (lol
But there is one detail that I don't really agree with and it maybe a problem in the future for me. I really don't know.

AND 6!! Up to 6 Vampires for 1 Donor!!!
That is absolutely Brillant!

I would be green with envy

One must be the most exquisite tasting Donor to have 6 Vampires on your speed dial. You really have to know who you are, know what you want and what kind of life you want to lead.