Yes, I Am An Evil Vampire

[Removed]

Since people like to run around the forum attaching labels to themselves, as if they had earned some imaginary respect for their "faith", I wanted to create a thread that exists in exact duality to the "Yes, I am a Christian" thread.


I am a Chaote. That means I am a Chaos Occultist, but I do not restrict myself to the Occult. It's theological more than anything else.

You will be hard pressed to find a better Chaote than me, and I encourage the debate of that subject.

I started out as a Christian, I was Roman Catholic, and I was there while my evil demented grandmother prayed on her rosery so "god" will forgive all the sins that should never be forgiven. I was there as she bled her husband's life dry with lunacy and prudish behavior until he was forced to masturbation, putting sick thoughts into his daughter's mind while she watching him play with himself. I was there to listen to the words of second-rate-intelligence that they thought everybody else but themselves had, by ignoring those they deemed unfit in their "Catholic Schools" that are now all in severe decline along with their matching church or chapel. But none of these things break the law, none of these things are ever frowned upon, and so no lesson is ever learned from them except from the people that they do damage to.

So I've had a lot of time to look around at the world. Some people just keep their eyes glued to what is in front of them but I refuse to live in ignorance and I have no respect for those who accept it, ignorance, as blood. I was once Satanist and I am no longer, but I still subscribe to the cardinal rule of stupidity. Even now thinking of these people is repulsive. It ever reminds me of those others who they subscribe to, the things they believe, and how dearly I would love to literally shoot them directly into the mouth. If only killing weren't against the law, at the very least we would have some population control, and beyond that there would be consequences that do not exist today.


Keep to the shadows because the light is not as friendly as it seems. Black and White are not defined by some fool who died thousands of years ago.



I am Enemy.
I am the the moments previous to complete horror. I am the scream in your head that just keeps on going. I am the created enemy so beautiful and incomparable that none worthy have words to describe. I am the seconds of time that count the day before reality finally hold, and what must be done is known through and through.

But I am not the Darkness. I am the Light, because the Light does not exist.


...Some "christians" were saying this just a couple hundred years after the death of christ, yet they too were ignored... I guarantee you will not have the option of ignoring me unless you are dead or I allow it.


So... Are you an "Evil" Vampire? Come forth!

Labels for All!



(Yes, I am a hedonist.)

[asteria]

Your speach interests me. Please tell me more.

[asteria]

I am to a point. For protection of my friends only. If someone messes with them I strike.

[Removed]

I had no intention of going this far into this conversation, But;

My friend Stellar had asked me to explain my pain to her, and the conditions of which it came to be. I refused because there is nothing to be learned from it, but there is some wisdom to be had. Though not what you may expect...

I am a PC Gamer. Less now than I used to be when I was a teenager. When I was a teenager I had a lot more time to waste by ditching class. So I spent a lot of time playing games like UO and while I was there I met a guy my age named Nate. He was playing the game with his um, I think it was his great uncle, who used the name "Ander" in the game. Ironic enough, the guild they belonged to, the one I joined, was called "Criados de Dios"; Warriors of God. My name in the game then was "Dark Hawk" like the comic book.

While I was joining the guild, Nate made an interesting comment about the game that I took into myself and my life. There are 2 types of characters in UO, Red characters and Blue characters. Red characters are "Murderers", they have a murder count from killing Blue characters. Blue characters are charactes who have not murdered anybody.

So, the question is; who does more harm? Red "Murderer" or Blue "Civilian"? You might see a red name pass by, and they might see you, but who do you have to fear more? The "Murderer" has already taken a life, he is already guilty, he already suffers. He is perfectly aware of suffering, and by killing again, and doing more harm he only makes his life more difficult.

And the "Civilian"? The civilian has not taken a life, but probably has in the past. They think they are not guilty, thus they feel as if they were promised or are somehow deserving of what it is they choose to do or places they choose to go. When you see a Blue character, you are far more at risk than with Red "Murderers" because you know what to expect from the Red characters, you are prepared for anything but no amount of preparation will ever prepare you for a blue character coming at you from behind or when you least expect it. In short, the Civvie has absolutely nothing to lose.

I think that holds a lot of relevance in real life.


Are you afraid of Charles Manson? A lot of Goths look up to him, he has a lot of real fans in tattoo shops and other such places. Why do you think that is? This guy has killed people, yet some people trust him more than they do their own family. Why?


Heck, my family bailed my dad out of jail every time he got drunk when I was a kid! And what was I to say about it otherwise? The way we judge people in this world is disgusting. These very same people baptized me behind my mother's back, kidnapped me to go see my drunken alcoholic father in atlanta (where I grew up) and the truth is that I had it good. There are lots of people better off than I was. I know 1 guy that pays his own bills and he's 13, his parents took off a long time ago. His girlfriend's mom helps him out a lot.

 
How many of you thought Anton LaVey had a "Black" soul? And yet he was probably one of the most selfless people you would have ever met, otherwise he would not have written all those books and tried as hard as he did to change the world so much.

And yet Christianity rules over most of our modern Nations today. "One Nation Under God."
Meanwhile, Why do muslims hate us? We say it is foreign policy but the truth is that Christianity has been at war with the Muslim's for hundreds of years and when we bomb somebody's house, that doesn't do very much to rectify the situation. Yet here we are talking about how "God is good". How do you say it? "Allah Wakbah?" It's funny how often I hear white christians saying that while they degrade the culture of their "enemy". They don't even know who their enemy really is.

What is good?--Whatever augments the feeling of power, the will to power, power itself, in man.
What is evil?--Whatever springs from weakness.
What is happiness?--The feeling that power increases--that resistance is overcome.
Not contentment, but more power; not peace at any price, but war; not virtue, but efficiency (virtue in the Renaissance sense, virtu, virtue free of moral acid).
The weak and the botched shall perish: first principle of our charity. And one should help them to it.
What is more harmful than any vice?--Practical sympathy for the botched and the weak--Christianity...

Under Christianity neither morality nor religion has any point of contact with actuality.

The Christian concept of a god--the god as the patron of the sick, the god as a spinner of cobwebs, the god as a spirit--is one of the most corrupt concepts that has ever been set up in the world: it probably touches low-water mark in the ebbing evolution of the god-type. God degenerated into the contradiction of life. Instead of being its transfiguration and eternal Yea! In him war is declared on life, on nature, on the will to live! God becomes the formula for every slander upon the "here and now," and for every lie about the "beyond"! In him nothingness is deified, and the will to nothingness is made holy! . . .

Buddhism, I repeat, is a hundred times more austere, more honest, more objective. It no longer has to justify its pains, its susceptibility to suffering, by interpreting these things in terms of sin--it simply says, as it simply thinks, "I suffer." To the barbarian, however, suffering in itself is scarcely understandable: what he needs, first of all, is an explanation as to why he suffers. (His mere instinct prompts him to deny his suffering altogether, or to endure it in silence.) Here the word "devil" was a blessing: man had to have an omnipotent and terrible enemy--there was no need to be ashamed of suffering at the hands of such an enemy.

Brought to its logical conclusion, such a physiological habitus becomes an instinctive hatred of all reality, a flight into the "intangible," into the "incomprehensible"; a distaste for all formulae, for all conceptions of time and space, for everything established--customs, institutions, the church--; a feeling of being at home in a world in which no sort of reality survives, a merely "inner" world, a "true" world, an "eternal" world. . . . "The Kingdom of God is withinyou". . . .

The instinctive hatred of reality: the consequence of an extreme susceptibility to pain and irritation--so great that merely to be "touched" becomes unendurable, for every sensation is too profound.

http://www.swan.ac.uk/german/fns/ac.htm

[audrianna]

ok well everyone knows im from ohio.
so  my mom is relate to Mr. Charles Manson. i have no clue how. i am very gothie. im also a pagan, and i'm a pc gamer too (W.o.W , yes im a nerd!) i dont feel as if Charles Manson did anything good by killing people. but i guess he did not do the killings his family did ( not my mom btw!)

[Eclecta]

When I clicked this topic, I automatically thought, "fuck, what now?"

I'm actually a little impressed with the depth of the topic here.  Hmm..

I've done a bit of research on various religions and beliefs because I wanted to know where I fit in.  And to quote something I read online that I found very amusing, .....

"Christianity is the belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree..."

Anyway, this just makes so much sense to me.  I realize it's a mockery, but it's how I always felt about xianity.  That being said, I was raised xian, because my parents felt I should know it... It didn't last.  Never made sense to me. 

So, I checked out a variety of other views and ideas out there, and came to the conclusion that I'm actually a ::drum roll, please:: Satanist.  Why?  It sure isn't because I believe in Satan.  That would mean I actually believed in God and chose to side with the adversity.  And that's not it at all. 

It's more like this.  And I'll quote some things and if you can figure out where it comes from I'll send you a half eaten cookie from my desk. 

First off.  "Love is the law, love under will."  Ok.  What does this mean?  I'll tell you what it means to me.  And yes, dearies, this is MY interpretation and I don't give a flying fuck, if you agree or not.  I'm not asking you to become my minion.  Rather, I'm telling you why it strikes a chord in me.  Ok.  Let's say for example that the law is to love, and and you should do so because you want to... what does this mean?  It means you can do anything.  I mean anything!  As long as you do so with loving intentions.  So, does this change the dynamic of the world?  Of course it does.  But what does it mean?  It means, that if you want to do something, let's take something simple for example, like say your dad is an alcoholic.  And you don't want him to get drunk and kick your mom's ass.  So, if you steal his last $10 so that he can't go buy a cheap bottle and get wasted, is this wrong?  Who cares if you use it to buy groceries because he sure as hell wouldn't, or you use it to buy a CD.. That matters not.  What does matter is that you are doing something good.  And you are doing it out of love.  You see my point here?  You love your mom, and you don't want to see her hurt, so you (out of love) take money which is a SIN, damn you to hell! and prevent an act of violence from happening.  Good or bad? 

Here's another one.  "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law."  This one is pretty easy too.  Your will.. that means what you want to do... that means it's the law to do what you want.  The law is for you to be happy.  Happiness brings love and vice versa.  So, if you are happy doing what you want and you are doing it out of love, how can it be wrong?  Fuck the technicality.  It's really not a sin.  Quit brainwashing yourselves and grow up.  Think for yourselves.  Why would it be wrong to steal money so that someone doesn't get hurt?  It's not.

Another example.  Your house gets broken into.  You awake in the middle of the night to some crazy guy in there stealing all your shit.  You get up, grab your gun, and go to where he's at.  He turns his gun on you.  Shoot him, or get shot.  What do you do?  Is protecting your home and your family a sin?  Is it wrong to do that?  Or let's say he has your wife, and a gun to her head and he doesn't see you yet.  You have the perfect shot, do you take it?  Is protecting someone you love wrong?  Oh it's just a technicality.  I can do it and be forgiven. Yada yada.  Whatever.  Why have to be forgiven for doing what's right.  Why does it have to be a bad thing if someone dies?  He deserved it right? 

So, am I rambling or does anyone actually see the point I'm trying to make.  You kill or steal money from someone because you are doing it out of love.  After all, "Love is the law, Love under will," right?  Your will is to protect.  So you kill or you steal.  That, my friend is the law.  Now, are you happy someone died, or that you had to steal?  Probably not.  But I bet you are happy that your wife didn't get shot, or your mom didn't get her ass kicked, right?  Interesting.

One more and I'll quit.  "Every man and every woman is a star."  All men and all women are equal.  They are both important.  It doesn't matter based on gender.  You don't get one without the other.  It takes two to reproduce.  So, why would one be more important? 

Words to live by. 

Ok, so what I believe falls under the category of Satanism.  And I'm a vampire.  Geesh am I fucked up or what?

[Sfinelli3]

My opinion in this topic is that, good, evil, or anything in between, it's your own choice, and it is the choices you make.  Even if you consider yourself good, there is no reason you cannot have an evil moment.  I do not consider myself to be either good nor evil, but I do things as I think they will benefit me best.  I guess if someone was judging me they would say more good, because more times than not I choose the good outcome, but I have my evil times too, and people do not like it when I am on my bad side.  So I guess I'm somewhere in between.

So I'm Merlin, the Neutral Vampire.

[belovedofdeath]

I like neutral, like sfinelli3 said.  I would say that fits me as well--I am not strongly aligned with good, nor strongly aligned with evil, should we give a label to two ends of a one-dimensional spectrum.  I guess I could say "chaotic neutral" if we were to get into dnd-talk here.   Sometimes I feel like doing very "evil" things and sometimes I feel like being the pinnacle of purity. >:3

Though, my understanding of Satanism is that they're more hedonistic than necessarily Satanic, so to say.  When you say that you think of these people as "repulsive," Talus, I hope you don't mean the people you met while you a Satanist, since you say at the bottom that you are a hedonist.

Unless I'm wrong in my understanding of Satanism, as affiliated with the Church of Satan laid out by Anton La Vey?

[Sfinelli3]

Wow, you know your religions.  I do not agree with Satanism, (is that the right word for it?) because in reality there really was no Satan.  Satan was something that the Christians made up to symbolize the sun god of the Pagan traditions, the horned god of the hunt with the goat legs.  Lugh, Lucifer, all of those names are different names of sun gods to various Pagan religions.  All Satan is is a way to say that Pagans are evil.

[belovedofdeath]

Wow, you know your religions.  I do not agree with Satanism, (is that the right word for it?) because in reality there really was no Satan.  Satan was something that the Christians made up to symbolize the sun god of the Pagan traditions, the horned god of the hunt with the goat legs.  Lugh, Lucifer, all of those names are different names of sun gods to various Pagan religions.  All Satan is is a way to say that Pagans are evil.

As an athiest, I feel that it's my responsibility to have looked into and know about as many religions as I can.

I think they chose the name Satanism because it would hit so close to home with Christians.  To my knowledge, they do not worship "Satan" or anything like that.  I would love to be corrected if I am wrong, however.

And yes, you're right.  Even things like the fish symbol come from Paganism--they took their gods, made them evil, and then took their holidays and symbols and made them theirs.  Halloween, Christmas, Easter.... when they were trying to win the Pagans over to Christianity, the Pagans would go to their mass, but then still go worship their own gods at home, they viewed Christianity either as something they had to do or as a supplement to their own daily worship.  On the Pagan holidays though, none of them would come--would you rather be sitting on a cold pew or out drinking your ass off?  Yeah, me too.  So they decided to "sanction" these holidays as Christian days of celebration.  Hooray, imagination!

At least, this is all stuff I remember from my research when I was younger and I didn't cross-reference anything to verify stuff, so some of it could be wrong.  Maybe I should go re-study it..... >:3

[Sunshine1626]

Wow, you know your religions.  I do not agree with Satanism, (is that the right word for it?) because in reality there really was no Satan.  Satan was something that the Christians made up to symbolize the sun god of the Pagan traditions, the horned god of the hunt with the goat legs.  Lugh, Lucifer, all of those names are different names of sun gods to various Pagan religions.  All Satan is is a way to say that Pagans are evil.

Actually, it's part of the view of certain types of Satanism that Satan, although not 'real', was the integral part of forming the Christian religion and was created as a symbol that attracted pagans and hold Christians, out of fear, to their faith.
Belovedofdeath, there is a few Satanists who worship Satan. I believe they call themselves "Traditional Satanists", as opposed to "LaVeyan Satanists" who use it more as a representation for self worship and rebellion against Christians.

[belovedofdeath]

zing!

[Sfinelli3]

Yes, it is true what you said about the holidays,  Halloween for Samhain (sow-en), also called Hallows, Christmas for Yule.  All these holidays were created at the same time as Pagan holidays to please the Pagans and prevent an uprising.

[Sunshine1626]

Yes, it is true what you said about the holidays,  Halloween for Samhain (sow-en), also called Hallows, Christmas for Yule.  All these holidays were created at the same time as Pagan holidays to please the Pagans and prevent an uprising.

Halloween has never been suggested to be a Christian holiday though.

[belovedofdeath]

Yes, it is true what you said about the holidays,  Halloween for Samhain (sow-en), also called Hallows, Christmas for Yule.  All these holidays were created at the same time as Pagan holidays to please the Pagans and prevent an uprising.

Halloween has never been suggested to be a Christian holiday though.

It's still openly accepted by Christians though.